Mirtazapine


There came a time in my life at which point I felt I needed to slow down. Not that I had been doing anything particularly stressful. Every muscle in my body hurt. Even my face. So it seemed natural I should drop everything and rest a bit.

Fate wouldn't allow it. I felt practically nothing but only vague sensations of motion and sound. The middle of a sea of screaming, writhing, sweaty human beings is where I found myself. No one touched me, yet I was moving not on my own will. I didn't know whether to be frightened or entertained and didn't really care. There I was. Vibrations could be felt in the floor. Was it a floor? Flashes of lightning abounded.

As the rain began to fall, we all melted together and ran across the paper as ink. I wasn't nearly as disoriented as I now think I should have been. I pieced together my molecules from the human soup. Perhaps I got a bit of someone else as well. Something seemed unnatural, and still does.

I was so tired. There was a pile of sand in front of me and it was calling. I burrowed a bit, until it was fairly comfortable. I am certain the threshold of sleep was just a split second away when I felt him. My eyes opened and met his. Blue, like the sea on a clear day. It was dark and I couldn't actually see the color, but I knew. My hand felt warm, with a slight pressure.

"You are perfect," he said.

"No...I'm not," I replied. The severe darkness left me unaware of my position. Perhaps I was at (23,6,88)?

"Yes."

"Why?" It didn't matter anyway, did it? I was wherever I was and couldn't do a thing about it.

"You just are."

"That doesn't make any sense." How did I get there, though?

Perhaps it really didn't matter I was there and perhaps it didn't even matter that I began telling my deepest secrets to this person who wasn't really a stranger, but not so close to be otherwise. Just as I was getting to that rather unfortunate event during the third grade involving the milk carton, I realized my lungs were filling up with liquid.

I tried my hardest to cough and gasp for air, but that same liquid inside was surrounding me. I had my eyes closed the whole time. I was terrified, yet at the same time, somehow attempting to accept certain death. I wanted a last glimpse of this experience known as life so I opened my eyes and saw nothing. It was totally dark. I felt nothing at all by this point, so I figured I was already quite dead.

In a flash, a huge tube of metal came rushing at me and shortly thereafter I was moving incredibly fast into the tube with all the liquid around me. And then suddenly the brightest of brightness one could possibly imagine! It blinded me instantly. I shut my eyes and saw blue spots for what seemed an eternity.

The telephone rang. I thought of the Police and reached for it. My arm was covered in blood. How odd. I answered the phone. It was not my mother.

"No thank you, I already have a Visa card."

Click.